Engaging Kids Without Rewards
(6 minute read)
In today’s fast-paced world, keeping kids motivated seems impossible.
Here’s what worked for me: I said no to rewards. There was no treasure box filled with prizes in my classroom. No “Good Work!” coupons or golden tokens to be exchanged for goodies. No table points that led to extra recess time. No homework passes, no sticker charts for good deeds. Nothing. Nada.
Yet things ran smoothly. Colleagues who walked by were surprised by the level of student engagement and our classroom management techniques. “Ms. Fabrega can step out of the room and the classroom could almost run itself,” read one of my evaluations.
“So, what’s your secret?” colleagues and parents asked. “What do you give these kids?”
Not much, really. Or at least, nothing that rewards them for things I expect them to do.
External rewards just don’t work in the long run. They may help us reach some short term behavior goals with our kids, but they distract us from the ultimate goal of raising self-directed lifelong learners.
The Problem With Extrinsic Motivators
Extrinsic motivators are common in most classrooms and homes. We reward children when they do as they are told, or remove privileges when they don’t.
The logic behind external rewards is intuitive: a behavior that is rewarded or punished is more or less likely to be repeated. Most of the time these work— and rather quickly. Children who are promised a reward will often change their behavior or decide to engage.
But there are a few problems with this approach:
First, rewards don’t work forever. There is a limit to how many rewards we can promise and give, and after some time it becomes repetitive and boring. After the short-term benefit of a reward ends, the child’s motivation typically fades.
Second, and more concerning, what are we teaching our children when we promise a reward to get them to do something? Children who are extrinsically motivated have a skewed notion of how to learn. They do things for the reward or to avoid punishment, rather than for the sake of learning itself. How can we raise self-directed learners if we get them into the habit of expecting a reward for doing the right thing?
Shifting Gears: How to Unlock Intrinsic Motivation
“The secret to high performance isn't rewards and punishments, but that unseen intrinsic drive— the drive to do things for their own sake. The drive to do things ‘cause they matter.” —Daniel Pink, Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us
Children learn best when they are intrinsically motivated. They learn to love learning when they engage in activities driven by their curiosity and inner desire to explore. Children who understand the value of what they are doing or learning stop caring about short-term rewards.
Here are some things I did to motivate my students intrinsically:
1. Give them choices and make them feel accountable
Giving children choices and responsibilities builds a sense of excitement, accountability, and purpose.
I provided students with choices on what and how they learned. Even simple choices like picking which book to read, who to work with, or where to sit make children feel empowered. Research shows that children who are given choices are more prone to finding time outside of school to continue learning on their own—a crucial trait of self-directed learners.
I also gave students specific classroom “jobs” that made them feel accountable: they knew that completing their jobs would help their classmates, teacher, and class community. Students took their responsibilities seriously because they understood that our classroom worked best when everyone contributed.
2. Involve them when making decisions
Children who perceive they are in control are more likely to engage in their learning.
My students and I had discussions about social and behavioral expectations for our classroom, and together we came up with rules and logical consequences that they understood and accepted. Because they had a voice and some control over these issues, they were more likely to take them seriously.
When we involve children in decisions, they begin to understand the reasons behind our choices and are more likely to cooperate.
3. Give them specific feedback
Children, like adults, seek recognition for their accomplishments and benefit from knowing how they are doing. We can recognize their positive efforts and encourage them to build on their strengths by giving them specific feedback.
When offering words of encouragement, we need to be specific so children know exactly what they are doing well. Don’t just say “good work!”—good work on what?
As a rule of thumb, recognize effort, not ability, and recognize ethics over achievement. Recognize the learning process, not the outcome. Recognize curiosity, perseverance, and a growth mindset over completion of tasks.
4. Have frequent “why” conversations
Kids, rightly so, demand to know the meaning and relevance of what they do and learn. They become engaged in their learning and enjoy the process when they understand the why behind what we encourage them to do.
I framed my lessons in ways that were personally significant to my students and provided context for everything we did.
I noticed that children feel satisfied after engaging in meaningful dialogue. They love nurturing their curiosity and learning about “adult” decisions. The conversations I had with my students about the importance of certain tasks and behaviors brought meaning to their learning and made them want to engage more.
5. Make fun a priority
Children who have fun learn more and behave better than those who don’t. Similarly, when children enjoy what they are doing, they are more likely to keep doing it.
Having fun was a top priority in my class. I spent time thinking of what got me excited as a child and the things that made me feel valued and engaged, and tried to replicate them in my class. I made sure children were excited to be part of our classroom. After all, I realized that my job wasn’t to teach kids how to multiply or subtract: my priority was to instill in them a love for learning.
I worked hard to bring fun to everything we did by incorporating humor and engaging in fun activities for the sake of having fun. Although my classroom had appealing features that made it unique, none were tied to student achievement or positive behavior. This sent the message that learning and fun can go together—that learning and fun should go together.
Kids who feel empowered and remain curious stop depending on external rewards to do the right thing.
By using the right incentives, we can help our kids develop the inner motivation that will push them to make the right decisions and keep learning on their own. While motivating kids intrinsically is harder, it’s worth the time and effort.
After all, instilling in children a love for learning is the most valuable gift we can give them.
I explore ideas like this in Fab Fridays, my newsletter on childhood education and new ways to learn.
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